It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
