Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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