im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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