1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
