i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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