I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
