Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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