Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
