God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize