Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish you could order shots online.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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