Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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