imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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