dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Michael Bay diarrhea
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
