Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
