This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
