I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
