Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
