I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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