a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
