I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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