Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
