strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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