the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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