I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
