I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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