dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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