is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
