I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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