none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize