Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize