You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
