And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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