Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
