I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
