There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Terrible idea I love it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize