Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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