it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
