The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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