guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
