We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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