let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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