What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
