brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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