...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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