nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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