It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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