just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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