im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you had me at cake vodka
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
