apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
this hospital has no fireball
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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