Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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