Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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