I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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