So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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