If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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