Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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