I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
3 2 1 whiskey
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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