I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
