Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
